This is a normal relationship issue because it happens to all relationships at one point of the other and multiple times to some people. By the way, the stressors of the pandemic might cause expected rifts or challenges in a relationship, but they’re not an excuse for abuse. …and you’re probably heading for the same tantrums as I type this. At the early stage of the drift, the couple may be unaware of its presence but the longer the drift stays, the wider it gets and the more noticeable it becomes. Troubled times must come so that is what makes this a normal relationship problem, it is bound to happen at some point and it won’t end the relationship if it is not extreme. Not Normal: Asking you to block or unfriend your ex—or any other male friends, coworkers, etc. Once I was done being emotional, I knew I was romanticizing him. Or you get jealous of the couple next door whose opinions are similar down to their political opinion. Jamea notes that “divorce” is getting tossed around a lot in sessions with her clients too, but she cautions against making any major decisions amid the crisis, especially if this is the first time it’s coming up. Pay attention to what’s coming up for you and your partner. This list isn’t all doom and gloom, I promise. Impulsive spending that is damaging your relationship Unfaithfulness Sexual problems Difficulty controlling anger and other emotions Mental illness that is getting in the way of your relationship You want to take your relationship Therefore it is safe to say that money is a normal relationship issue regardless of how rich or poor you are. Changes to sexual intimacy during a relationship are normal. Whatever it is, you wouldn’t be the only one questioning a loved one’s judgment because of their pandemic choices. more “normal” relationship, there are several characteristics of the current situation which do not warrant to speak of a “normal” relationship. © 2021 Condé Nast. This is the reason why the famous marriage vow quotes. Life, kids, jobs, health issues, and many other stressors can cause that part of the relationship to suffer. Normal Relationships Versus Relationships in Distress First, let's get one thing out of the way: no one's relationship is as good as they make it look on social media. Maybe the pandemic is acting as a pressure cooker for relationship problems you already had or maybe it’s serving as a playing field for new, unexpected discoveries. “It’s going on two months and I really have no idea where my relationship stands,” Rachel S., 31, tells SELF, adding that her friends in the same situation are really vocal about missing their partners while she’s more “eh.” “I like to think that this is a sign of a healthy relationship and secure attachment styles and what have you, but I also feel like maybe I should be missing him more,” she says. 4. With so much uncertainty, most of us are living in a suspended present, making it feel impossible to figure out what next week will look like, let alone next year. “We have been talking about engagement and marriage and that conversation feels like it's on hold since we don't know when we will be able to plan a wedding,” says Sam. It would please you know that there are some issues that are considered normal relationship issues. Every marriage is unique, so it’s hard to say if things are “normal,” but there are definitely some universal challenges we all face and go through. If trust issues aren’t the number one cause of breakups, it has to be one of the leading causes. If it was up to me, we’d all talk about our exes on the first date (and usually, I do). Delivered weekly. Just like how sickness is a factor of growth for all living things, so is couple’s fight a factor of relationship growth. “They might know that more than likely, they’re not going to be with this person long term, but breaking up would cause even more stress right now, so they’re waiting it out.”. It's not something to judge yourself or your partner over. “We both fought, both cried, and I was already panicking about divorce in the middle of a pandemic.”. “It's kind of nice that even after 10 years together, I can be pleasantly surprised by how I relate to him,” she says. When this happens, it’s more important than ever to “Normally we’d go out together or meet at her place, and I don’t want to make my partner sit through my FaceTime dates. Do you know that fighting in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing? It helps build the couple’s tolerance and immunity against certain relationship problems that have ended the relationship for good. Read: Why Couples Argue and How to End Constant Argument in a Relationship, My name is Destiny Agburuga, I am a BSc holder in Business Management from the Rivers State Unversity in the year 2018. But several issues can come to light, once you're together all the time, that might make you question the future of the relationship. Although there are certain developments towards a more “normal ” relationship, there are several characteristics of the current situation which do not warrant to speak of a “normal ” relationship. “I’ve heard from a lot of people that a weird part of them doesn’t want this to end and they’re already feeling sad that this isn’t permanent.”. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Misunderstanding happens more often when the couple pays more focus in talking and counter-attack rather than listening and hearing the other person out. We used to go on hikes on Sundays and so now, it feels harder to find our replacement quarantine activity.”. Quarantine makes us do wacky things, I guess.”, In a time when there’s a lot of suffering going on, it’s natural to think about the privileges we have—whether that’s still having a job, good health, or yep, a relationship to help get you through this. “I do think that there is a little bit of a silver lining there if couples are able to look at it that way,” says Jamea. Sometimes, external problems can pose a serious issue to a relationship. It is also a normal relationship problem, as far as the couple are willing to hold hands in love and find a common ground, it will not break up the relationship. Nope, this isn’t a pandemic phenomenon limited to the singles out there. Intimacy and Relationship Issues Intimacy problems widely occur behind a variety of closed doors. All couples run into relationship issues. Whether your relationship was already doomed before the pandemic or the pandemic is showing you things about your partner and relationship that you can’t unsee, now is a sucky time to go through a breakup. Life and love are very complex so don’t wish for another person’s relationship, just develop your own. Hear what experts have to say about resolving them and keeping your love life on track. “So they’re feeling very lucky and don’t want to rub it in their single friends’ faces.”, Of course, there’s a flip side to this. “Which wasn’t true at all. Keep your marriage strong by focusing on the things you really love and appreciate about your spouse. Now that you've read through these 10 strange relationship behaviors that aren't actually weird at all, hopefully you feel a little better about your own relationship. Even “A lot of couples who live their lives like two ships passing in the night and are so busy between their jobs or their commute or their kids haven’t gotten this kind of quality time together for a long time,” says Jamea. All rights reserved. Most couples fight, but most don't post their fights online. But those aren’t the only feelings coming up right now. These are issues that cut across so many relationships that they are now considered normal issues in relationships. It might be easy to beat yourself up if you’re not “taking advantage” of sheltering in place to cook together more, have cute date nights, catch up on your sex life, or whatever you once told yourselves you’d do together when you had “more time.” But these are not exactly easy times to be on top of your couple game, whether you live apart or are isolated together but too busy dealing with the stresses of the pandemic. Here is a list of normal relationship issues: Misunderstanding itself is very common in the world we live in. Some examples of external problems that can impact a relationship are family problems, work related stress, legal battles, unforeseen disaster. But I’m jealous of my friends who live alone for this. It can come and go without causing any damage to the relationship and that’s why it is considered a normal relationship issue. … Conflicts may include a loss of harmony between the sheets, a lack of sexual desire between either partners or failure in communication. “I feel like we don't have a chance to miss each other. “They came to me and they were embarrassed because things were rocky and they needed help already, but it’s okay,” she says. For those who chose to shack up, it’s natural to feel a lot of uncertainty, regardless of how things are going. Maybe your partner has started wanting to loosen up on social distancing now that the weather is getting better or maybe you wish they’d just stop scrolling through the news in bed. If you can relate, you’re definitely not alone. “But without the pandemic, I think we wouldn’t have moved in together for at least another year. Healthy relationships don’t look the same for everyone since people have different needs. Such differences can either be small or great but regardless of its size, it is still a normal relationship issue. What the person failed to understand is how complex and funny how life is. Sex and relationship health is much more than avoiding diseases and unplanned pregnancies. I created this blog to help other couples navigate their way through the hurdles they will face in the course of dating someone truly special, Your email address will not be published. Vagina: What's normal, what's not Vaginal health affects more than just your sex life. Whatever it is, you might be wondering if your experience is normal. Karmic . Family issues Extended family or blended family issues are another top problem many couples will face. ), You probably didn’t expect your problems to magically disappear because of the pandemic, but that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult to continue to struggle with them now. Be you single and searching, dating, married and complicated, LoversBud is the home for you. This purpose of this checklist is not to score your relationship or your partner, but to raise issues that you may need to address personally and talk openly about with him or her. “These tensions are putting huge tolls on relationships because people feel like they’re seeing a new side of their partner.”. “I’m quarantined with my primary partner in a studio apartment, so maintaining my relationship with my girlfriend who lives elsewhere has been awkward,” Wendy X., 26, tells SELF. You expect to miss each other, to fumble through virtual dates, and to work on stepping up your communication game. “I don’t want to whine about my struggles because I know they think being married right now automatically makes things better. “What I'm seeing is that people are trying to coexist and cohabitate the best they can,” says Jackson. How to deal with these common relationship issues Here you’ll a list of the most common short- and long-term relationship or marriage problems my clients came to see me for. In those moments, what keeps a couple together is the friendship, respect, loyalty, and the willingness to make it work. “We are having a harder time being intentional with each other because there is no separation of when we are spending time together or when we are in the same room with each other,” Sam S., 26, tells SELF. “Some people feel their partner is putting them at risk, others think their partner is being too uptight and preventing them from enjoying life,” says Jamea. Many toxic relationship habits are baked into our culture and we end up accepting them as normal. Misunderstanding happens between friends, colleges, business partners, law courts and even in relationships. 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